A short time later, they broke out the food and Sherry offered to take some to Mentz. As she walked away, Nahla turned to North. "What do you think is going on with her? I’ve never heard her question Michael before. And she’s letting herself get involved with Travis. It’s not like her."

North hesitated and watched to make sure Sherry was far enough away not to overhear. "I don’t know. You’re right, it’s definitely not like her. She is the most faithful and loyal person I’ve ever met. And Michael has given her no reason to doubt him, at least none that I’m aware of. It doesn’t make sense."

Nahla’s concern was etched on her face. "It couldn’t be a mission, could it? I mean, maybe they ordered her to seduce Travis for some reason? If that’s the case, they are both going to be hurt, big time."

North sighed. "I hope not because you’re right, it would destroy both of them. Although I don’t think that’s the case. Operations wants them together too much to risk ordering her to seduce him. He knows it would end it between them once and for all."

Sherry reached Mentz, sat down on the rock next to him and handed him the food. "Sorry about earlier," she said. "I was a bit preoccupied."

"Forget about it. I’m just glad I was there. But you really should pay more attention," he said, his manner not as friendly as usual.

Sherry glanced at him and sighed. "Okay, Mentz. I was hoping you’d forget about what you saw back there, but obviously you haven’t. Let me have it."

He shrugged. "It’s not my place to say anything. I’m here to protect you, not judge you."

She could hear the but in his answer, even though he didn’t say it. "But ..."

"Michael’s my friend. You know that." He was definitely uncomfortable with this discussion.

"I know he is. I thought I was your friend too," she responded, wondering if this was all a big mistake.

He sighed. "You are." After a moment he said, "I thought you loved Michael."

"I do," she sighed. He looked at her with a strange expression, waiting for an explanation. "But you want to know how I could kiss Travis if I’m in love with Michael."

He shrugged. "Like I said, it’s none of my business."

"I don’t want you to think ..."she started when he interrupted her.

"Look. I don’t want either of you getting hurt, okay. If you decide you want to be with the doctor, that’s your choice. I just think maybe you should end one relationship before you start another one."

"If only it were that simple. It’s just not as black and white as you make it sound." Sighing, she got up and wandered back to North and Nahla.

‘Well, I guess I’ve ruined the day for everyone. I’m sorry," she apologized as she sat down with them again.

"Nonsense," North assured her. "We came to this beautiful waterfall, we got to swim, get some sun, and we had some girl talk. You didn’t ruin our day at all. Now if you had fallen down that hillside it would be another story."

"I think Mentz wishes I would have. He thinks that I’m betraying Michael, which I guess I am."

Nahla shook her head. "You haven’t done anything accept kiss Travis. Have you?" Sherry quirked her eyebrow and looked at Nahla with that "what do you think" expression. "Of course you haven’t," Nahla answered herself. "You’re confused right now and you need some time. Mentz has no business judging you."

"Okay, enough about me and my problems. Let me hear some happy stuff. How are you two making out with your significant others?" Sherry deftly diverted the topic away from her mixed-up life. After a time, they packed up to head back.

"I’m locking myself away for the rest of the day," Sherry said as they got back to the house. "I’d rather not be interrupted, if you get my drift," she said to her two friends who nodded.

"Don’t worry," Nahla said, "we’ll see that he’s busy."

They walked into the house to find the guys sitting around the living room. "Hey ladies, did you have a good time?" Jace asked.

Nahla nodded. "Yes we did. And just how did you all occupy yourselves while we were out?"

Sherry headed toward her office. "I’m going to get to work now. I’m not sure if I’ll be out for dinner, so go ahead without me. I have a few ideas to work through."

"Need any help?" Travis offered. Sherry smiled at him. "No thanks, not this time. If I do, I’ll let you know." Then she walked into her office and closed the door. She leaned back against the door and sighed. She hated hiding away from everyone, but she needed some quiet time alone.

North and Nahla went upstairs to shower and change. Jace gave her long enough to get dressed and then went upstairs to find Nahla. He walked into the room and pulled her into an embrace. He kissed her and then pulled back a little to see her face. He could tell something was bothering her.

"So, did Sherry explain that little scene we witnessed downstairs this morning?" Jace asked, having a good idea that whatever was bothering his lady love had to do with her sister.

Nahla looked up at him in surprise. "Why would you ask that?"

He smiled. "You know, we men aren’t quite as dense as you sometimes think we are. I know something’s bothering you and it most likely has to do with your sister. And the only thing I’ve noticed that is different is her relationship with Travis."

Nahla nodded. "She’s so confused right now, Jace. I wish I could do something for her."

"Confused about what?" he asked, thereby shattering his earlier statement that men aren’t really all that dense.

"Her feelings for Travis. Her feelings for Michael. I think she may be in love with both of them. I don’t envy her at all."
"Well, I don’t want to add to your worries, but I overheard Petrosian and Davenport talking earlier. They seem to think Michael will be showing up in the next few days to pay her a visit."

Nahla groaned. "Oh no. She doesn’t need that right now. Then again, maybe she does. Maybe if they are both here ... oh I don’t know. This is so complicated."

Sherry sat in her office, lost in her jumbled thoughts. She was thinking about Michael and the wonderful relationship they have. And then the picture in her mind would change and there was Travis.

Trying to distract herself, she flipped on the radio. There was an advertisement and then the music started. She listened to the first few words and then groaned.

I'm so scared that the way that I feel*
Is written all over my face
When you walk into the room
I want to find a hiding place
We used to laugh, we used to hug
The way that old friends do
But now a smile and a touch 'a your hand
Just makes me come unglued
It's such a contradiction
Do I lie or tell the truth
Is it fact or fiction
Oh, the way I feel for you

It's so complicated
I'm so frustrated
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay
Should I say it
Should I tell you how I feel
Oh, I want you to know
But then again I don't
It's so complicated (oh)

She listened to that much of the song and then shut the radio off. "That’s not helping," she muttered and turned to the pages of her book to try and distract her thoughts. Maybe if she could immerse herself in her work, she could forget about it for a while.

Hours later, when the house had quieted down, she finally saved what she had managed to write and turned off the computer. She checked her watch and saw that it was 1:00 a.m. Quietly she made her way toward the stairs. She saw a figure sitting in the dark which momentarily startled her.

"Mentz?" she whispered.

"Yeah, I was waiting for you. I’m sorry about earlier," he began his apology.

"Don’t worry about it. I understand. You’re looking out for Michael. I appreciate it, I really do. And I don’t want to hurt him, or even mean too. I just don’t understand what’s going on myself right now and so I can’t really explain it."

He nodded. "Okay. I just wanted to apologize. But if you need to talk ..." he trailed off.

Sherry was touched. Mentz was usually pretty quiet and kept to himself. His offer to listen touched her more than he would know. "Thank you. I appreciate it. Now, I think we’d better get some sleep." He nodded and followed her upstairs.


*Complicated" by Carolyn Dawn Johnson (Carolyn Dawn Johnson/Shaye Smith)

Part 5

The next morning Sherry was up early, but didn’t go downstairs. This was the day that she had promised to spend with Travis. No work, just the two of them together. Now she was beginning to wonder if that had been a mistake. She paced back and forth for what seemed like ages. Finally, when it wasn’t too early, she knocked on Nahla and Jace’s door.

"Come in," Jace called. Sherry opened the door and was relieved to see they were both up and dressed. "Sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering if, well, ... oh never mind. I’ll see you later," she finished and closed the door behind her. She walked back to her room and closed the door. She flopped down on the bed with a sigh.

It wasn’t long before her own bedroom door opened and Nahla walked in. "Hey, what’s up? You okay?"

Sherry sat up and shook her head. "No, but don’t worry about it. If you and Jace have plans, go ahead. I’ll be fine."

Nahla closed the door behind her and walked over and sat on the bed. "Talk to me. Even if I can’t help, I’m a good listener. Besides, I’ll be preoccupied all day if we don’t get this little talk out of the way and Jace knows it. He sent me to check on you." Sherry nodded, but continued to stare out the window, not saying anything. Nahla waited for a while and then decided if the conversation was going to get started, she’d have to do it. "Travis?"

Sherry turned to her. "What else? I promised to spend all day with him, Nahl. I’m beginning to think maybe that was a mistake. I don’t want him to get his hopes up."

"Have you made a decision?" she asked.

Shaking her head, Sherry sighed. "No. But I’ve been thinking about what Mentz said yesterday and he’s right. Michael and I have been together for years. I love him and I don’t want to lose him."

"So you’re going to make the break with Travis and you’re worried how he’ll take it?" Nahla asked, trying to figure out exactly where this conversation was going.

"No, I can’t. I mean, I don’t want to lose Doc either. He’s my best friend. If I tell him we can’t be together, I’m afraid I’ll lose his friendship. It wasn’t a problem before because we had never gotten this close. But now I’ve got all these feelings for him swirling around and I don’t know what to do with them. I know it sounds stupid. I never in a million years thought I could love two men at the same time. It’s not who I am."

Nahla nodded. "I know. And now that it’s happened, you’re scared."

Sherry got up and paced, a few tears falling down her cheeks. "Yeah. I’m afraid of losing either one of them, or both of them. How could I have let this happen?"

Nahla went over to her sister and hugged her. "You didn’t let this happen. It just did. We can’t help who we fall in love with. But you know you will eventually need to make a choice. The longer you wait, the harder it will be for all of you. For now, why don’t you go ahead with your plans for today. Let the worries go and simply enjoy your time with Travis. It might help you decide what you should do." She just hoped she was giving good advice and that her sister would make the right choice for all concerned.

Sherry sighed. "Thanks. Maybe you’re right."

"Of course I am," Nahla teased. "Have you ever known me not to be?" Sherry laughed with her at the question.

"Oh, I must look a mess," Sherry groaned. "Guess I better go wash my face again or Travis will want to know what’s wrong. I don’t want to go there with him. Not today."
"Just have a good time and relax. Don’t try to solve the problem today. And I’ll want a full report when you get back, of course."

Sherry laughed. "Of course. I’ll see you later, then."

Sherry finally went downstairs where Travis and Davenport were waiting. Since Davenport was the senior security operative and Travis was not a trained cold op, he took guard duty today. Travis walked over to her, took her hands in his and wished her a good morning. He didn’t attempt to kiss her, a fact for which she was grateful since everyone else was there too. She didn’t know if he somehow knew it had upset her yesterday, or if North might have spoken to him about it. Whatever the reason, she was glad not to have to worry about it at the moment. They quickly gathered their gear and headed for the waterfall.