Part 2

A week later, Sherry was pacing her room again. This was the day she would again come face to face with Section, in a manner of speaking. Travis had invited Kit, North and Michael to meet with her. He had also requested that Jace come as well so that he could be updated on her progress.

Checking in the mirror once again, she sighed, combed a hand through her hair and headed out the door to meet Travis in his office. He wasn’t there when she arrived, so she started pacing again. The silence was deafening to her. Wanting to yell in frustration, she picked up a paperweight that was sitting on his desk. She was studying it closely when he walked up beside her.

"Oh no you don’t. I don’t want you throwing my stuff at the walls," he said as he took the paperweight out of her hands. Dropping her arms down to her sides, she shrugged and continued pacing while he replaced the folder he had removed from the file cabinet earlier. She was beginning to feel like a caged animal.

"Would you please sit down and take a few deep breaths. I’m going to have to give you a tranquilizer if you don’t relax," he growled.

Obeying, she sat down and tried to get a handle on herself. The deep breathing helped a little. Having him there also helped.

"Are you sure you can’t go back with me doc?" she asked only half jokingly. "You could help keep me focused and relaxed. You might help a few other people there as well," she quipped, thinking of Operations. That man was on edge 24/7.

Travis got up, walked around his desk, and leaned against the edge of it in front of her. "You’ll be fine. Once this initial meeting is behind you, you’ll feel better. But if you ever need me, you know all you have to do is call and I’ll come if it’s at all possible," he promised.

Sherry shook her head. "No, absolutely not. That is one thing that will not happen. I would never bring you to that place. And you’ve got to promise me you won’t come. If I need to see you, it will be here or someplace neutral, not there. I don’t want them to get their claws into you."

Travis could see that the prospect of his coming to see her was distressing to her. He wasn’t sure why, or what she meant about getting their claws into him, but it was something she felt strongly about so he agreed. "Fine. I won’t come there. Just calm down."

Once she had his promise she calmed down. There was no way she would let Section "recruit" him. He didn’t deserve such a fate. Most people didn’t. She made a mental note to get a promise from Michael, North, Jace and Kit that if she ever needed Travis’ help again, they would see to it that he didn’t come to Section. She would let them cancel her first.

Travis saw the look of steely determination in her eyes. He wasn’t sure what was going on in her head, but whatever it was, it seemed to be helping her focus. He could see the formidable person she could be. He was glad he wasn’t one of the people she went after.

"Okay, as for the visits, I thought I’d let you and Kit meet first. You won’t need me for that meeting. That will give me time to talk to Dr. Jamison and bring him up to speed. Then it will be up to you from there. Kit can stay while you and Northstar meet, or you can bring me in, or you and Northstar can meet alone. Same for Michael. We play this however you want to. Just tell me."

Feeling better that he was giving her control but also waiting in the wings to help should she ask, she felt herself relax a little. She was still nervous, but not nearly as much as she had been a few days ago, or even earlier today.

"So, are you ready?" he asked.

"They’re already here?" She was surprised. She thought they would have a few more minutes to talk.

Dr. McAllister nodded. "Yes. Kit is waiting in the lounge. Dr. Jamison is outside."

She stood up, took a deep breath and nodded. Opening her eyes, she said, "Okay, let’s do it."

He smiled. "Good. That’s what I wanted to hear."

He opened the door and waited for her to precede him out. As soon as she was out the door she spotted Jace.

"Hello, Sherry," he stood and walked toward her.

"Hi Jace," she smiled in return.

"How are you?" he inquired politely.

"Oh, I’d say a lot better than the last time you saw me," she laughed and then looked to Travis for confirmation. He simply nodded.

"Good," Jace replied. "By the way, Nahla sends her love."

Sherry smiled at the thought of her friend. "Thanks. And give her a hug for me, okay?" she laughed.

Jace laughed. "Oh, I think that can be arranged."

Travis stepped in. "I’ll be right back, Jace. I just want to escort Sherry to the lounge."

She turned and looked at him. "That’s not necessary. I’m fine."

Travis watched her for a few seconds and then nodded. "Okay, if you’re sure. You know where the button is if you need it. It rings directly to me."

Sherry smiled and hugged him. "I know. Thanks." And then she turned and headed off to find Kit, while Jace and Travis adjourned to his office.

Kit was flipping through a magazine when Sherry walked into the lounge. She smiled as she noticed that Kit was getting impatient. Just how long had they been waiting, anyway? And how would North and Michael react? Michael, especially, didn’t like to be kept waiting.

"Hey Kit," she stated and Kit threw down the magazine, jumped up and hugged her.

"Hey yourself. It’s good to see you again. I hear you’re coming back soon." With that, the two women caught up on all the latest with each other. Sherry got an earful of what was happening back at CLHQ and Sherry told Kit about her recovery and how she felt about going back.

"You’ll be fine, I know it." Kit stated. "And don’t forget, you have friends there. Besides, you can always call Dr. McAllister if you need to." Sherry nodded and then made Kit swear that she would do all she could to keep Travis from ever getting near Section. Kit promised and then studied her friend.

"Travis, huh? Just how friendly are you and the good doctor?" she probed delicately.

Sherry smiled at the thought of him. "He’s a good friend. That’s all. I wouldn’t ever want him getting mixed up with Section. He’s helped me a lot and it’s the least I can do for him."

Kit nodded and then continued. "Yeah, I know all that. But there’s more to it, isn’t there? You’re attracted to him."

Sherry sighed and paced the room. "Kit ... he’s my doctor."

Kit laughed. "Yeah, I know that too. That doesn’t answer my question. Are you attracted to him?"

She sat down again. "He’s a very good man. He’s attractive, intelligent, insightful, fun to be around. Who wouldn’t be attracted to him?"

Kit shook her head. "Please just answer my question. Is there something more going on here? Remember, I’m you’re friend and I’m only trying to help."

"No, there’s nothing more going on. Could there be? I suppose under different circumstances there could be, but there isn’t, and there won’t be," Sherry finally admitted.

Kit studied her friend a few more moments. "Because he’s involved?"

Rolling her eyes heavenward and shaking her head, Sherry answered. "No. Because he’s my doctor and because I’m involved, or at least I used to be, in case you’ve forgotten."

Kit smiled. "No, I hadn’t forgotten. Just wondering if you had. So, if there were no Michael in the picture..."

Sherry turned serious. "Are you trying to tell me something, Kit? Is that what this is about? Michael’s going to dump me? He’s moved on? Is that it?"

Kit sighed. "No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. As far as I know, Michael is still as hung up on you as he’s always been. It’s you I’m asking about. I saw the spark between you and Dr. McAllister when I was here before. And I can tell by the way that you talk about him that he’s special to you. Just wondering if maybe you were thinking of replacing Michael."

"Kit! How could you think that? Yes, Travis is special, he’s a good friend and he always will be. But I’m in love with Michael and that hasn’t changed ... at least not for me. Besides, I would never be able to see Travis anyway, so there’s really no point in even thinking about anything happening with him, now is there?"

Kit shook her head again. "There you go again. You declare you love Michael and then in the next breath you make excuses as to why it’s not a good idea for you and Travis to be together. So, what’s really going on? Are you falling for this guy?"

Wishing this conversation would die an early death, Sherry paced again. "I have feelings for Travis, Kit. But I love Michael. That hasn’t changed, and won’t change. He may not want us anymore, but I still love him. Is that so hard to understand?"

Kit smiled. "No, it’s not. And I don’t think you have to worry about Michael. He would probably kill me if he knew I told you this, but he’s been spending a good bit of time in your quarters since you disappeared. He feels close to you there. I know he misses you. He could hardly wait to get out of my room to read that letter you wrote him."

Sherry smiled. "I hope you’re right. But how is he, really? He still blames himself, doesn’t he?"

Nodding, Kit answered. "Yes, he does. He tries not to show it, but those of us who know him, can see it. We were beginning to worry before he got your letter. He’s better now, and he’s coping, but he’ll never forgive himself."

"But it wasn’t his fault. I told him that. Of course, I knew he wouldn’t forgive himself. I just wish I could get him to let it go."

"I’m sure he’ll come around once you’re back and he can see you and knows that you’re okay. If he can talk to you and see that you’re fine, it should help," Kit suggested.

"I hope you’re right. I’m kind of nervous about seeing him. Not that I’m afraid of him, I just don’t want to hurt him again. I know it must have hurt to see me so terrified of him and calling for Corda to rescue me from him. Talk about betrayal."

Kit shook her head. "No, he doesn’t feel betrayed. We’ve talked about it a little. But I think you two need to talk it out between yourselves. That’s the only way you’re both going to move passed it."

Sherry laughed. "Now you sound like doc. Talk it out. Get in touch with your feelings." The door opened as she was making that pronouncement.

"Well, it’s the only thing that really works," Travis said as he walked in. "I hate to interrupt this discussion of just how intelligent I am, but we have to move things along. Northstar is ready. So, will it be just the two of you, would you like me to stay, or Kit?"

Sherry thought about it for a moment and then decided. "Just me and North for now. If I need anything, I’ll let you know."

Nodding in agreement, Travis smiled. "Okay. I’ll get Northstar."

A few minutes later, Sherry found herself pacing again, waiting for North. What was the hold up? She was about to go and find out when the door opened again and North walked in.

"Thank you, doctor." she said as she closed the door behind her. Turning around, she saw Sherry pacing.

"Sorry. I was just getting a quick update from Dr. McAllister," she explained.

Nodding, Sherry took a deep breath and waited. Not knowing what to say or where to start, she felt really awkward. The silence began to drag out a bit and she started to feel nervous again.

North had decided to follow Sherry’s lead. She didn’t want to take a chance of upsetting her, so she thought she should hang back and see how Sherry wanted to proceed. However, this awkward silence was beginning to get to her. She could see it was definitely wearing on Sherry, so she decided to just jump in and see what happened.

"You’re going to wear a hole in the carpet if you keep that up," she stated.

Stopping and turning to face her friend, Sherry stared at her for a minute and then burst out laughing. North laughed as well.

"That’s the North I know and love. Always so practical. It’s good to see you too," Sherry said as she walked over and hugged her friend. Once the initial awkwardness was passed, they both relaxed. They talked for a long time before they got around to the incident that had landed Sherry in this place.

"So you’ll be back with us soon," North broached the subject carefully.

Sherry nodded. "So I’ve been told."

North watched her carefully. "Please try to contain your enthusiasm. I wouldn’t want you to overwhelm the rest of us."

Sherry smiled and then got up again. "I am glad to be getting back, really. But I’m so nervous. Surely you can understand that."

North nodded. "Of course. But you don’t have to be, you know."

A sarcastic laugh escaped before Sherry could control it. "You don’t think so? The last seven months or so of my life sound more like something Amani Jensen would write. Hey, there’s an idea ... I could turn my nightmare into the next best seller."

North coughed and tried not to look at her. Sherry knew then that something was up. "Okay, North. Spill it."

North sighed and looked at her friend. "Well..."

"Oh no," Sherry interrupted. "Please tell me you’re not serious. Madeline isn’t considering that."

North smiled. "You got it. Since you won’t be back on cold op duty for a while, we thought we’d start you out slow. Keep you working in your office at CLHQ. Madeline also thought that perhaps writing about the experience might help you to put it behind you, give you some sort of closure."

Rolling her eyes, she looked skyward. "Closure? Oh please, no more. I’ve got the doc and Kit telling me to get in touch with my feelings, talk things out. And now Madeline wants me to have closure. I can’t take it any more."

North laughed. She knew that Sherry was someone who kept things inside, kept her feelings to herself. For example, usually the only way you knew she was angry was that she got very quiet. Then you knew to stay out of her way. All this getting in touch with her feelings and talking about how she felt must be a real trial for her.

Deciding to change the subject, Sherry asked, "So, have you rented out my office yet?"

North smiled. "Of course. How else do you think I can afford to keep myself in day planners?" Laughing, North continued. "Of course not. Your office is still waiting for you."

"I’ll bet along with a stack of files that probably reaches to the ceiling by now, right?"

North nodded. "How’d you guess?"

Turning serious, North sighed. "Listen, I want you to know that we are all here for you. You don’t have to worry. No one blames you for what happened. It could have happened to anyone. And we want you to take it easy for a while. You know you’ll have to be re-evaluated when you get back, go through some basic retraining?"

Sherry nodded. "Yeah. I’m so looking forward to that. Can’t wait to see who they’ve got lined up for that."

North smiled. "You’re sounding more and more like yourself by the minute."

"Good. Then you can tell them I don’t need retraining," she suggested.

"Nice try, but you know it’s mandatory for anyone who’s been out as long as you have. Pretty cushy thing you’ve got going here, you know. Must be nice."

Sherry laughed. "It is. I’m trying to get Travis to say I need further revaluation, but he’s not cooperating." Sighing she continued. "Sometimes I wish I could simply stay here forever. It’s calm and peaceful, so different from our real life. No danger every time you walk out the door, no threat of death if you make a mistake. And no Operations and Madeline to deal with."

North understood. They all wished for a place like that from time to time. Most of them, however, never got to actually experience the real thing. "Makes perfect sense. But what about all the good things? Your friends, your home, Michael? If you stayed, you’d have to give all that up."

Flopping down in the nearest chair Sherry frowned. "I know and I don’t want that. It’s just that, well, it’s been so long, I’m not sure about anything anymore."

"You need to take your time. Do things at your own pace. And as I said, and I’m sure you’ve been told over and over again, we don’t blame you. It wasn’t your fault."

"I know you and Kit feel that way, Michael probably feels that way. But what about Operations? Does he think it wasn’t my fault? I can’t imagine him being so forgiving."

North smiled. "Actually, you’d be surprised. He’s been on top of this from the day you disappeared. I was second-in-command during your capture and retrieval. I can tell you that he doesn’t blame you. He’s actually been following your progress closely. I think he’s quite anxious to get you back."

"Probably so he can put me in abeyance or demote me," Sherry grumbled.

North sighed. "You know that’s not true."

Sherry shook her head. "Actually, no I don’t. I’ve been here for six months having no contact with Section at all. So I don’t have a clue as to what’s in his head. But if you say it’s so, I guess I can take your word for it. You do know the man fairly well," Sherry smiled.

"That I do," North nodded. Then she pulled something out of her pocket. "I have something for you. It’s actually why I was late coming in to see you. I was asking Dr. McAllister if it would be okay to give it to you."

North held out her hand and Sherry took the object from her. She looked down at her hand and saw the necklace that had been ripped from her neck the first time Corda had come to see her after her capture. She stared at it for a long time thinking back to that day and all that had happened since.