Hope

written by Sherry



Part 1


It had been a grueling mission, but things had gone pretty much as planned -- they had stopped another terrorist from bombing a group of innocent civilians. Michael, Nikita, Birkoff, Mentz and Ken departed van access. Operations was waiting for them. "Good work people. As soon as you debrief, get some rest. Michael, I would like to see you in my office."

Michael replied "Of course," and started after Operations. He paused, however, and sent one last glance Nikita’s way before continuing on. Something was just not right with her recently. He couldn’t put his finger on it though. She had done her job perfectly. Still, he had kept a close eye on her. Something seemed to be missing ... her spirit ... her fight ... her determination ... her light. She seemed almost depressed. That had him worried. He would have to watch her closely. He didn’t want a repeat of the events surrounding the Stanley Shays mission, where, if he had not arrived at that exact moment, she would have taken her own life.

Nikita noticed Michael watching her and sent him as much of a smile as she could muster. "You better get going Michael. Operations doesn’t like to be kept waiting. I’ll talk to you later." With that, she turned and headed off in the opposite direction.

As she walked away, she sighed. It was that time of year again... Christmas. She didn’t understand why people got so happy and excited at Christmas. Sure, she had seen all of the TV specials and movies of how Christmas was supposed to be... if the holidays, and life for that matter, were really like they were portrayed in the movies, then she could understand. But in her experience, there was nothing much to celebrate.

When she was a child, her mother might be counted on to give her a couple of cheap, wrapped up gifts, but that was it. Her mother had never wanted to be bothered with a kid. She preferred spending time with her current boyfriend. So they never had a tree, decorated the house, went to see Santa Claus... nothing. She was lucky her mother even remembered to give her anything.

After she had been kicked out of the house and was living on the streets, there was no one to celebrate with and nothing to celebrate. How did you have a Christmas celebration by yourself living on the street? No place to decorate... no big meal... no one to exchange gifts with, no family... nope, Christmas was definitely not a time that appealed to her.

She did, however, remember that one year, about seven years ago. She had been living on the street. She found herself just wandering around on Christmas Eve and had noticed people going into the local church. It looked like a warm place to spend some time, so after everyone else had gone in, she snuck into the back of the church and sat down. She had been amazed at what she saw and heard. The church people had put on a play of the very first Christmas, when baby Jesus was born. She had never heard the whole story before. And the people sang the carols like they really believed what they were singing. There had been a candle lighting at the end of the service. All the lights in the sanctuary had been turned down and everyone there lit a small candle while singing "Silent Night." She remembered feeling so good during the service. For a short time, she had actually felt hope. It was a wonderful feeling. Of course, once she was back out on the street and wandering around again, the hope she had found didn’t last long.

And now, here she was, a cold op in the most covert anti-terrorist group on the planet. These people would just as soon shoot you as look at you if it suited their "agenda" — whatever that might be on any particular day. Well, most of them anyway. "Peace on Earth and good will to men." Yeah right. They tried to accomplish that very thing every day, but never seemed to make any headway. There were just too many psychos and terrorists out there to make a dent. They were involved in such an intense business that they never really had the time, nor the inclination, to celebrate anything. Why bother? What was there to celebrate? Another dead terrorist? another dead operative? betrayal after betrayal? Right. Christmas just didn’t belong in Section One. And it didn’t belong in her life.

Oh sure, she exchanged gifts with Walter and Birkoff. She had even exchanged gifts with Michael while he was her mentor. But, that too had changed. He was no longer her mentor. He seemed to have distanced himself from her. But then again, why not? Everyone else in her life had, why not Michael. She had even made the mistake of buying gifts for Madeline and Operations her first year in Section. Not that they hadn’t been nice about it and didn’t appreciate the gifts. But once she had actually realized what they were like, how they used people, lied to people, killed people on a whim, she had quickly scratched them from her list.

Nikita sighed and headed off to debrief.

 

Part 2


When Michael entered Operations' office, he saw Madeline was there as well. He stood watching the two of them, waiting for someone to speak. He wasn’t sure what they wanted. The mission had gone without a hitch, so it couldn’t be that. Still, he had a bad feeling about this little meeting. Finally, Operations spoke.

"Sit down, Michael. We wanted to talk to you about Nikita." There it was. They were the words he always dreaded hearing. He didn’t know what she had done this time. He had been keeping a close eye on her. There was nothing he could remember her doing that would warrant this meeting... no botched missions, no veering from mission profiles.

Maybe they were going to promote her. No, that was unlikely. He would have had some indication before now. Then, his heart clenched. Maybe... maybe they were going to send her away to another Section. He would have to make sure that didn’t happen. He didn’t think he could survive without her presence in his life. She was the only thing that made his life bearable. She was the only reason he tried to be human. Without her, he had no reason to even bother getting up in the morning. He couldn’t begin to consider the fact that they might cancel her. He would do everything in his power to avoid either of these situations. He would just have to play it close to the vest and find out what they wanted.

Madeline watched Michael’s face for any indication of his feelings when Nikita’s name was mentioned. As usual, Michael kept his expression blank. No one was going to read his mood. Madeline was always impressed with this ability. It was one of the things that made Michael their best operative. However, there were subtle things that gave him away, if you knew him. Right now, for instance, even though his hands were under the table, she could tell he was clenching his fists because of the way his arm and shoulder muscles bunched at the mention of Nikita’s name. Once she was satisfied they had his attention, she proceeded.

"Michael, we are worried about Nikita. She’s not herself lately. Even with Walter and Birkoff she’s different. We were wondering if you had any idea what could be causing this." Michael looked from Madeline to Operations and back again. He knew that Operations didn’t care one way or the other. If Nikita didn’t get back to herself, she would be canceled. Michael wasn’t as certain about Madeline. At times she seemed to care for Nikita, but she could also be as ruthless as Operations if she thought the situation warranted it. She was, after all, the one who watched as Nikita was sent on the suicide mission after the botched attempt to rescue Shays. She knew that Nikita was suicidal then and had done nothing to help her. She had simply waited for her to be canceled with the rest of the abeyance operatives on the mission.

Finally Michael spoke. "No, I don’t know of anything. I have noticed that she’s not herself, though." Operations stared at the young man. "Are you sure there is nothing you can tell us? You two have been very close... closer than we would like, but we have allowed it. Did you do something to upset her?" Michael was furious now and Madeline could sense it. She placed a hand on Operations’ arm to stop him. "Michael, please understand. We do not want to lose Nikita, either. She is valuable to Section. We were just wondering if there was anything you could tell us. We want to help her."

Michael almost laughed. They wanted to help her. Yeah, right. And pigs can fly. He wanted to just get up and walk away, but he knew he had to answer them. "As I said, no. I don’t know what is bothering her. Do you have any idea?"

Madeline studied Michael. He didn’t usually throw their questions back at them. That, in itself, gave him away. He must be worried. She answered him. "Well, actually, since there is nothing specific that seems to have happened, I am assuming it is probably the holidays. You know her background. She had no real family life. And in Section she has no family, just a few close friends. This time of year can be particularly hard on those without families."

Michael thought about it and realized Madeline was probably right. Nikita had seemed fine until about two weeks ago. With all the hoopla surrounding the holidays, any normal person would get depressed if they had no family or no plans to celebrate. And one thing Nikita wanted more than anything else was to be normal. Not that it was ever an option in Section, but she tried. "If that’s the case, do you have any suggestions on how we can help her?" he asked.

Madeline smiled. "A few. Take her out. Spend time with her. Maybe help her decorate her apartment. Also get Walter and Birkoff to help you. Just try not to let her spend too much time alone. But don’t push. If she doesn’t want to do something, don’t make her. I will also stop by her place occasionally, on one pretense or another, to see how she is doing." Michael nodded. Operations picked up the conversation. "I don’t have to tell you, Michael, what will happen if she doesn’t snap out of this." Michael glared at the older man. "Don’t misunderstand me Michael. I’m not saying we will cancel her. But as you know from her history here, she is capable of taking her own life. We don’t want to see that happen, as I am sure you don’t. Do you have any questions?" Michael shook his head no. Operations then said "Fine. Dismissed."

Michael wandered back to his office to try and figure out how best to approach the situation.

 

Part 3


After Nikita had debriefed, she wandered towards Walter’s station. Walter noticed her coming his way and greeted her. "Hey Sugar, how ya doin?" Nikita gave him a half-hearted smile and said "Fine, Walter. And what about you?" Walter studied her face. "I’m doing great, Sugar. Say, I know it’s Christmastime, but do you think I could get you to come by my place and be a little naughty? What do ya say?" Nikita laughed. "Sorry Walter. You know what they say. You better be good or Santa Claus won’t leave you any presents." Walter joined in her laughter. "Well Sugar, an old guy like me doesn’t stand much of a chance then, do I?" Nikita seemed to sober up at that instant and replied "About as much chance as any of the rest of us, I guess." With that, she turned away and left.

Walter didn’t like what he was seeing... or what he was thinking. He knew Nikita as well as anyone. There was something wrong. She was almost acting like she had when she became suicidal over the Shays mission. He would have to get her to talk to him. Or maybe Michael. He knew that she and Michael loved each other, even if they could never show it. Then again, maybe Michael was the problem. He would have to get her away from here and have a talk.

Nikita wandered through Section and passed Birkoff’s station. He looked up and said "Hey Nikita. Wanna come over tonight and see if you can even come close to beating me at my new computer game?" Nikita just kept walking and said "No thanks, Birkoff. Maybe some other time." Now Birkoff was worried too. Nikita was his friend, but he could tell something was bothering her. She hardly ever turned down one of his challenges. She never beat him, but she always tried. Birkoff made a mental note to himself to check with Walter and see if he knew what was up.

Nikita headed out of Section and went home. She flopped down on the couch and picked up a book she had been wanting to read. Before she started reading though, she turned on the radio. She immediately turned it off again. She was so tired of hearing Christmas carols. Why couldn’t these people just play regular music and skip the Christmas songs... just once? She turned on her CD player and put in one of the new CDs she had just bought. Once the music started, she flopped back down on the couch and picked up the book.

 

Part 4


Walter was clearing things away at his station when Michael’s voice came over the speaker. "Walter I need to speak with you in my office in five minutes." Walter was surprised, but he was also glad. He wanted to feel Michael out about Nikita. This would be his chance.

Birkoff was getting ready to go talk to Walter when he got the call from Michael. He didn’t know what could be up. He just hoped that Michael wasn’t going to threaten him again. He hated that. Michael should realize by now that he could trust him. Birkoff headed straight for Michael’s office and knocked. "Come in" Michael called out. Birkoff opened the door and saw Walter sitting there. Now he was curious. It must be something mission-related... Michael just didn’t spend time "bonding" with anyone from Section, except maybe Nikita - and usually not with her either.

Birkoff went into the office and sat down. As soon as he entered, Michael punched a few keys on the keypad at the side of his desk, turning off the surveillance in his office. Michael, as yet, hadn’t spoken. Walter was getting fidgety, so he decided to speak up. "So Michael, what do you want? Is this about the upcoming mission?"

Michael glanced at Birkoff and then back to Walter. "No. This is about ... Nikita." Walter and Birkoff straightened up when Michael spoke Nikita’s name. Both men were getting more worried as the seconds ticked by. Michael was not one to confide in anyone, and if he was talking to them about Nikita, then it must be serious.

Walter, however, was getting tired of waiting for Michael to continue. In an aggravated voice, he asked "What about her, Michael? What have you done this time? I don’t know why she puts up with you, not when there are plenty of nice guys just waiting for you to get tired of her." Birkoff looked at Walter like he was crazy. You just didn’t mouth off to Michael like that. Not if you valued your health and your life. It was bad enough that Nikita was apparently in trouble. But if Walter kept badgering Michael, things could really get nasty.

Michael just stared at Walter with no expression on his face. Everyone in the room knew, however, that Michael was annoyed. Birkoff decided to try and steer the conversation back to Nikita. "Uh, Walter, maybe we should just let Michael tell us what he wants." Walter looked at Birkoff and then muttered, "yeah, whatever."

Michael continued. "Madeline and Operations are worried about Nikita. They think she may be depressed. I’m sure you have noticed as well that she has not been herself. Do either of you have any idea what is wrong?" Birkoff shook his head no, but Walter just couldn’t stay quiet. "No, I don’t. I figured it had something to do with you. It usually does." "Oh geez, Walter," Birkoff thought to himself, "why don’t you just take your gun out and shoot yourself."

Walter and Michael stared at each other for what seemed, to Birkoff, like an eternity. Birkoff sat there wishing he were anywhere than in this room at this moment. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Finally Michael spoke. "Sorry to disappoint you Walter, but I have done nothing to Nikita. Madeline thinks it has something to do with the upcoming Christmas holiday. She thinks Nikita has some sort of holiday depression. It is up to the three of us to see that she snaps out of it. Do you think you are capable of putting aside your feelings about me long enough to do that?"

Walter felt ashamed. He shouldn’t have goaded Michael that way. It was just that when Michael had called them in to talk about Nikita, he was afraid Michael was going to say she was being canceled. Anytime Nikita was in trouble, Walter’s fathering instincts kicked in. He would do whatever he could to help her. And Michael had hurt Nikita in the past, many times, so it was just so easy to lash out at Michael. He made an easy target because he usually didn’t fight back. However, Walter also realized that Michael loved Nikita, even if he would never admit it.

"I’m sorry, Michael. I know you are just as worried about Nikita as we are, maybe more so. Of course we’ll do whatever we can to help. Did you have anything specific in mind?" Michael outlined his plan and asked Walter and Birkoff for any suggestions. Once they had everything settled, Walter and Birkoff left to get started on their part of the plan.

Michael sighed to himself. "Please, God, let this work."

 

Part 5


Nikita was trying to make some headway in her book, but her mind just wasn’t cooperating. Her concentration kept slipping, and she had to go back and re-read the same part over so many times, she should soon have it memorized. Just as she was about to give up, her doorbell rang. Nikita tossed the book on the coffee table and went to see who was there. She checked her video screen and saw that it was Michael. She straightened her hair and then opened the door.

"Hi Michael. What can I do for you?" Michael studied her face, looking for any signs of how she was doing. "May I come in?" he asked. Nikita motioned him in the apartment and then closed the door. "Can I get you some coffee?" she inquired. "That would be nice," he replied. Michael took his coat off and sat down on the couch. He noticed the book on the table and picked it up. She had apparently just started reading it, she wasn’t very far into it yet. Just then Nikita returned with the coffee. "Thank you," Michael smiled. "I see you’ve started reading ‘A Civil Action.’ It’s a good book." Nikita nodded her head. "I thought I’d read the book before I see the movie. You know how they always change the stories when they are made into movies." Michael nodded his head and sipped his coffee.

Nikita couldn’t understand why Michael was here. As far as she knew, they were no missions on deck and Michael hadn’t been "just dropping by" since Operations had decided he was no longer her mentor. Something must be up. "So, did you need something Michael?" Michael was nervous. He hoped their plan worked. This was just too important to screw up. "Actually, yes. I was wondering if you would... help me with some Christmas shopping."

Nikita began to wonder if someone had spiked her coffee. She could have sworn she just heard Michael ask her to help him go Christmas shopping. First of all, Michael didn’t ask for help. Secondly... well... Christmas shopping? Michael? She must have heard him wrong. "Excuse me?" she asked. Michael cleared his throat. She wasn’t making this easy. "I was wondering if you would help me do some Christmas shopping. I need some help picking out gifts for Walter, Birkoff, Madeline and Operations. I’m not very good at that kind of thing."

Nikita laughed. "Oh I don’t know Michael. You seemed to do okay the last few years. You’ve always done fine by me." Michael smiled. "Thank you. But this year I just can’t think of anything. I don’t want to get the same old thing again. I thought you could help me with some new ideas." Nikita watched Michael closely. He seemed to be genuinely asking for her help. She knew she couldn’t turn him down, no matter how much she hated the thought of Christmas shopping this year.

"Okay, fine. I’ll help you. When did you want to go?" Michael was relieved. At least the first part of the plan was working. Now if the rest would go as smoothly. "Well, I was thinking about tomorrow, if that’s not a problem." Nikita thought about it for a moment. Not that she had any plans. She just wanted Michael to think she did. Of course, he probably knew as much about her plans as she did. "Sure, that’s fine. Say 10:00?"

Just then the phone rang. Nikita answered it. "Hey Sugar, it’s Walter." Nikita laughed. As if anyone else would call her "Sugar." "Yes Walter, what can I do for you?" Walter continued, "Birkoff and I are going out for dinner this evening and we were wondering if you wanted to come along. Nothing fancy. Just the three of us. What do you say?" Nikita pondered for a few seconds. She would like to get out of the apartment for a while. But she wasn’t sure she wanted to be out among all the Christmas revelers. But it was Walter and Birkoff. She could trust them. If she felt like coming home, they’d understand and wouldn’t put up a fuss. "Okay Walter. I’ll go. What time?" Walter told her they’d pick her up around 7:00 p.m. and then they hung up.

Nikita’s mind was racing. First Michael asked her to go shopping and now Walter and Birkoff wanted her to go out with them. What was up? Was she in trouble again? Something was up. She turned back to Michael. He seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. "Michael," she spoke "can I ask you something?" Michael turned back to her. "Yes." Nikita wasn’t sure how to ask. "I want you to give me an honest answer, Michael, please?" Michael wondered what she was thinking. He had an idea, but he wasn’t sure. "Of course, if I can. What is it?" Nikita continued. "Am I in some kind of trouble? Are they considering canceling me or something? Or am I dying or something? First you come by and ask me to go shopping with you and then Walter and Birkoff ask me out to dinner. Is there something I should know?"

Michael had to be careful. He couldn’t tell her what was up, but he couldn’t let her see that he was lying or holding anything back, either. He spoke quietly. "No, you are not dying, and you are not in trouble or in danger of being canceled. I can’t speak for Walter and Birkoff, but as for myself, I simply need help with those gifts... and... I wanted to spend some time with you... away from Section. Things have gotten quite strained between us lately. I don’t want it to be that way."

Nikita smiled. She was relieved. She wasn’t in danger of cancellation. She wasn’t dying. And, if she could trust him, Michael seemed to be reaching out to her. She couldn’t get her hopes up though. Michael had been known to pull the rug out from under her almost every time they had gotten close. She loved him, and she knew he cared about her. She so wanted to believe him. Maybe she could feel out Walter and Birkoff tonight and see what they thought.

Michael was watching her closely. He knew what she was thinking. Her expressions were usually quite easy to read and this time was no different. She wanted to trust him, but she wasn’t sure she could. He understood completely. He only hoped that he didn’t end up hurting her again. Finally he spoke. "So, how about I pick you up around 10:00 a.m. tomorrow?" Nikita nodded her head. "Yeah, that’s fine." Michael got up and put his coat on. Nikita got up and followed him to the door. Michael turned and said "Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow." Nikita smiled. "Tomorrow. Goodnight, Michael." Michael reached down and took her hand in his. He raised it to lips and kissed it. "Goodnight, Kita." With that he disappeared down the hall. Nikita closed the door. Suddenly, she was feeling better than she had in some time. She hurried upstairs to get ready for dinner with Walter and Birkoff.

 

Part 6


The next morning, Michael arrived promptly at 10:00. Nikita answered the door and motioned for him to come in. "I’ll be ready in a minute. I just need to get my coat," she called as she headed for the bedroom. Michael wandered around the apartment while Nikita was upstairs. He noticed that she didn’t have one Christmas decoration up. Not one thing. That really wasn’t like her. He did notice, though, that she seemed to be in better spirits this morning. Hopefully their plan was working.

Michael had called Walter late last night to find out how the dinner went. It seemed the three of them had a great time at dinner, talking and laughing. Nikita had also asked them about Michael -- if they thought he was sincere about wanting to spend time with her. Walter assured Michael that he had answered normally... that yeah, he thought Michael was sincere. If not, he would have Walter to deal with. Birkoff had said he didn’t know, but he was pretty sure that Michael cared for her. Everyone thought so. Michael’s mind was eased somewhat after that. Walter also told them that after dinner they had just walked around town a little, looking at the Christmas lights. Nikita had been quiet, but didn’t seem to be as depressed as she had been earlier in the day.

Michael’s thoughts were brought back to the present when Nikita came down the stairs. "All set?" he asked. "Yep, let’s go" she answered. The two of them headed downtown in Michael’s car. Once they reached the first store Nikita suggested, Michael found a parking space and they entered the store. Nikita asked Michael if he had anything in mind and he had told her that no, he really didn’t have anything in mind for anyone. "Then, let’s just go browsing and see what we can find," Nikita laughed. She curled her arm through his and they wandered the store together, looking for anything that might be suitable for Michael to give as gifts.

They found gifts for Madeline and Birkoff in the first store. Once they made their purchases, they decided to walk the two blocks down the street to the next store Nikita had mentioned. As they walked, they stopped to look at a few things in the shop windows. They entered the second store and walked around for a while. Nikita decided they should split up and see if either of them could find anything for the others on the list.

As Nikita was wandering through the store, she found herself drawn to the Christmas decoration department. As she wandered through the aisles she caught sight of a simple manger scene that was on display. She stopped in front of it and simply stared at it. It was a very plain, simple manger scene... a wooden stable with small ceramic figurines. But she couldn’t take her eyes off of it. She lightly touched each of the figures. They took her back to that night years ago when she had taken refuge in the church during their Christmas Eve service. She remembered the play, the singing, the peaceful feeling and the hopefulness that she had felt that night.

Michael had been wandering around the store and couldn’t seem to find Nikita. He decided to make one more sweep of the store and check every aisle. He had avoided the Christmas decorations section because he figured she would avoid that section like the plague. If Christmas was making her depressed, the last place she would be was in the aisles displaying everything Christmas. However, since he hadn’t been able to find her anywhere else, he decided to look there as a last resort. And that is exactly where he found her. She seemed to be entranced by something. He called out to her quietly, but she didn’t hear him. He walked up behind her and she still didn’t seem to know he was there. Finally, he touched her arm and spoke. "Kita, are you okay?" Nikita turned to him and he could see there were tears in her eyes. "Kita, what’s wrong?" he gently urged. "Tell me."

Nikita looked back at the manger scene. Then she turned towards Michael. "Not here, let’s go." Michael guided Nikita out of the store. Then they started walking aimlessly. Michael didn’t push. He knew she would tell him when she was ready. After they walked about a block, Nikita spoke. "It was that manger scene. It reminded me of Christmas Eve about seven years ago. I was just wandering the streets, watching all the people hurry to their Christmas celebrations. I came to a local church and there were lots of people going inside. It seemed like a good place to get warm for a while, so I went inside after everyone else had entered. I sat in the back and just listened. It was beautiful Michael. I had never really heard the Christmas story before and the church people acted out the nativity. And the singing was amazing. I had such a feeling of peace and hope. It was great. Of course, it didn’t last long, but it was wonderful while it lasted." Her voice broke at this point. "And now, I just feel like I have nothing to be hopeful for anymore."

Michael looked at Nikita and saw the tears streaming down her face. If Nikita had looked, she would have noticed the tears in Michael’s eyes as well. His voice was very quiet when he spoke. "I’m sorry, Kita. I didn’t know. I shouldn’t have brought you Christmas shopping with me. I had noticed you were sad lately. If only I had known ..."

Nikita wiped her face and smiled. "Don’t Michael. It’s not your fault. You had no way of knowing. Besides, I was really enjoying myself until I saw that manger scene. Please don’t feel that any of this is your fault. It’s just something that I have to work through."

Michael wiped a stray tear from her face. "You don’t have to do it alone, you know," he answered. "Let me help you." Nikita watched Michael’s face and then nodded. If she could just spend some real time with him, not Section-ordered, she might get some of that hope back. Michael pulled her into a nearby diner for lunch. After they had ordered, Michael continued their conversation. "Nikita, if you want to go home after we eat, just say so. I’ll understand." Nikita smiled at Michael. She seemed to be smiling a lot today... more than she had in the last few weeks. "No Michael. I’ll be fine. Let’s get your shopping finished."

Just before they finished eating, Michael broached the subject again carefully. "Kita, I noticed you didn’t have any Christmas decorations up yet. I was wondering if maybe you would let me help you decorate your apartment." Nikita felt like a coward. She was feeling better, but she wasn’t sure she was ready for the full Christmas treatment. "I don’t know Michael. I just don’t think I’m ready for that. Do you understand?" Michael nodded his head and said "Of course."

After lunch, they finished Michael’s shopping. Nikita had even managed to find a few gifts for Walter and Birkoff. And she was definitely feeling better. Michael took Nikita back to her apartment and walked her inside. "Thank you, Kita. I really appreciate your help." Nikita didn’t want Michael to go, but she wasn’t sure she should ask him to stay. Finally she said "Would you like to come in for a cup of coffee?" Michael smiled and said "Yes, that would be nice."

Nikita fixed the coffee and brought it into the living room for them to share. "Michael I enjoyed myself today. Sorry I was such a downer though. I didn’t mean to spoil your shopping." Michael reached over and took her hand. "Don’t be ridiculous Nikita. You didn’t spoil anything. I’m glad you told me. And I enjoyed the day too. Maybe we can do it again sometime." Nikita smiled and nodded her head. Michael stayed for about an hour and then left.

 

Part 7


After leaving Nikita’s apartment, Michael headed back to Section. Once there, he called Walter and Birkoff into his office. He told them what he had learned. He also told them that he hadn’t been successful in getting her to agree to decorate her apartment. She seemed to be doing better, but she wasn’t quite herself yet. They needed to adjust their plan.

After some discussion, they decided to keep taking her out. They also decided that Michael would ask Nikita out on Christmas Eve and while they were gone, Walter and Birkoff would decorate Nikita’s apartment for her. Michael, however, had one special decoration in mind that he would bring himself, after Walter and Birkoff had left.

A few days later, Nikita seemed to be happier, but still not quite herself. Madeline decided it was time for her to drop by and visit Nikita. Nikita was listening to music when there was a knock at her door. She checked the monitor and noticed Madeline standing outside her door. "What in the world is Madeline doing here?" she asked herself. She opened the door and said "Hello Madeline." Madeline smiled and responded "Hello Nikita. May I come in?" Nikita moved back and allowed Madeline to enter. Madeline looked around and noticed that Nikita still had no decorations up. She didn’t like that fact, but Michael seemed to be making some headway. Hopefully he would have Nikita back to herself in no time.

Nikita offered Madeline a seat and some tea. "Is there something I can do for you Madeline?" she asked. Madeline shook her head. "No. I just thought I’d stop by and see how you were. I know it’s been a difficult year for you." Nikita was uncomfortable. She didn’t like these visits from Madeline. They didn’t happen often, but everything you said or did would be noted in your file for future use against you. She decided to answer the question and get this little visit over with. "I’m fine Madeline. You don’t have to worry about me."

Madeline smiled. "Of course I have to worry about you. I have to worry about everyone at Section. It’s part of my job. But that’s not why I’m here. I’ve been concerned about you lately. You seem unhappy. And I’ve noticed you don’t have any Christmas decorations up. What’s bothering you? Is it Michael? Did something happen between you two?"

Nikita rolled her eyes. Why was it every time she had a problem Madeline immediately thought it had something to do with Michael? Sure he had caused her problems in the past, but not everything was about Michael. "No Madeline, it has nothing to do with Michael. In fact, he’s been wonderful lately. I’m just not in the holiday spirit this year. That’s why I didn’t decorate. But it’s nothing you have to worry about." Madeline watched her closely as she answered. She did believe Nikita, she just wasn’t sure Nikita knew the extent of her own unhappiness. There were times, like now, when Madeline thought of Nikita as a little sister and didn’t want anything to happen to her. "Are you sure, Nikita? Is there anything I can do to help you?" Nikita sighed. "No Madeline. I’m fine. Really. Don’t worry about me." Madeline smiled and nodded her head. They visited for a little while longer and then Madeline left.

 

Part 8


Christmas Eve arrived. Walter, Birkoff and Michael had been spending as much time as possible with Nikita outside of Section without her becoming suspicious. They had succeeded in getting her almost completely back to her old self, but she still didn’t want to decorate her apartment. Michael stopped Nikita as she was walking through Section and asked her if she would go out with him this evening. "Sure. What did you have in mind?" she asked. Michael smiled at her and said "It’s a surprise. Just wear something nice but conservative. I’ll pick you up around 7:00 p.m." Nikita nodded and began to wonder where in the world Michael would take her. She smiled and waved to Walter as she passed his station. Walter was glad to have his "Sugar" almost back to normal. Hopefully their plan would work this evening and not backfire on them.

Michael arrived at 7:00 promptly and knocked on the door. Nikita answered and noticed that he was wearing a nice gray suit. She left him into the apartment. "You look nice, Michael" she ventured. "Thank you," he replied "so do you." She actually looked quite beautiful in the black dress. Nikita retrieved her coat from the closet and Michael helped her put it on. "So Michael, just where is it that we are going?" Nikita asked. Once again Michael replied "It’s a secret."

Michael drove them downtown and then pulled into the parking lot of a church. Nikita wasn’t sure what was going on. Michael was taking her to church? Then it hit her. He was taking her to the Christmas Eve service. She wasn’t sure she could handle this, but she would try for Michael.

Michael had been watching her face. He knew it was risky to bring her here, but he also thought it might be just the thing to help her over the last hurdle. If she could just get back that feeling of hope, she would be okay. Michael took her hand and walked her towards the church. "Is this okay with you Kita? If you are uncomfortable, we don’t have to go in." Nikita smiled at Michael and answered "I’m fine. I think I can handle it. If not, I’ll let you know." Michael nodded and they entered the church. The church was filling up rapidly, but Michael made sure they got a seat at the aisle so they could exit quickly if Nikita wanted to leave.

The service started promptly at 7:30 p.m. There was singing of carols by the congregation. Nikita listened for a while, then tentatively joined in. After the congregation sang, there was a number by the children’s choir. Nikita, who loved children, listened with rapt attention. Next there was a cantata by the church choir, with church members acting out the parts of Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus, the shepherds, the angels, the innkeeper and the wise men. Michael watched Nikita closely. She seemed to be captivated. He was beginning to relax. She looked to be enjoying herself... it must be working. At the end of the cantata, everyone in the church lit a candle and sang Silent Night. Nikita had tears in her eyes. Michael leaned over and asked "Are you okay, do you want to leave?" Nikita looked at him and said "I’m fine. No, I want to stay. Thank you Michael. This was exactly what I needed." Michael took her hand in his and nodded. During the offering, they had a soloist sing "O Holy Night." Nikita was beginning to get it back... that feeling... hope. She was beginning to feel as she had that night seven years ago. She was no longer living on the street. She had a job, even if it wasn’t what she would have chosen for herself. She had friends, people she could count on... people she could spend the holidays with. Michael seemed to care about her. Even Madeline seemed to worry about her. She was no longer alone. When the pastor announced the closing hymn, Nikita sang loudly with everyone else. Michael was relieved. It had worked. His Nikita was back... his light... his reason for being.

Nikita had a radiant glow on her face as they left the service. Michael had never seen her look lovelier. They went back to Nikita’s apartment to wait for Walter and Birkoff. Michael was nervous though. He didn’t want Nikita to lose all she had regained if she didn’t appreciate them decorating her apartment for her. Nikita opened the door and switched on the lights. She stopped and stared in amazement. There was a Christmas tree with presents under it, there were stockings hung, there was a poinsettia on her kitchen table, there was a wreath on the inside of her door, and there was a fire in the fireplace. She was stunned. She turned to Michael. "Michael, did you do this? When, how..." Michael smiled. "Actually, Walter and Birkoff did it. They waited until we left and then they came in and decorated for you. Do you like it?" Nikita laughed. "I love it. It’s wonderful. I can’t believe you guys went to all this trouble for me." Michael took her hand and said, "There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you Kita. Walter and Birkoff were only too glad to help. I’m glad you like it."

Michael walked Nikita over to the couch and sat her down. "Now for my gift. I wanted to give it to you before the others showed up." Michael reached down under the tree and handed Nikita a box. She took it and opened it very slowly. Once it was open, her eyes brimmed with tears. "Oh Michael, it’s perfect. Thank you." Nikita placed the gift on the table. Michael had bought her the little manger scene she saw in the store the day they went shopping. He had attached a little note to it. It read "Kita, never, ever lose your hope." Nikita leaned over and kissed Michael. Then she snuggled up to him and waited for the others to arrive. This truly would be the most wonderful Christmas she had ever had.



The End



Seasonal Index