IDENTITY CRISIS

By.....Aly


He was having trouble sleeping tonight. Rolling over in the large bed he finally decided to call it quits. Sitting up abruptly, he flung the covers from himself and placed his feet onto the cold floor. The shock of the cold tiles took his breath momentarily. Gritting his teeth he rose from the bed and padded to the closet to get his sweats. Slipping into them, he left the privacy of his quarters... and headed to the Comm Center.

It was 3:45am and everyone was asleep. Everyone but him, that is. Moving to one of the stations, he booted the system up and, looking around covertly, he logged onto the Internet.

~~<>~~<>~~<>~~<>~~<>~~

She tossed and turned, unable to find a comfortable position. Flipping and flopping from her side, to her back, to her tummy, back to her side, over and over she seemed to roll. Nothing.

With an irritated sigh, Tina flung the covers back and lept from the bed. Crossing the bedroom angrily, she raked her fingers through her hair and argued against the stillness of the night, "So just WHAT is your problem I'd like to know?!? Do you have something against me Personally?? Is that what keeps you from letting me SLEEP?!?!"

Shaking her fist childishly against the darkened windows of her apartment, she laughed at the irony. She had become quite involved in her *cyber* world and had let it consume so much of her *down* time that now, when she actually needed some down time, she was too wound up to actually kick back and chill awhile.

Losing the battle, she moved to her laptop and booted it up. Logging onto the Internet, she browsed her favorite chat rooms. *Maybe he won't be on tonight....* she thought... no... she hoped.

~~<>~~<>~~<>~~<>~~<>~~

He waited for what seemed like hours... but were actually only minutes. He tried very hard not to go back to that room. The room where he had felt that connection... that... bond so-to-speak, with Shygrl2U. She intrigued him.

What would she be doing on at this hour of the morning anyway? Then again, they first *connected* during the early morning hours like this, when there were very few people online.

Rubbing his hand across his face absently, he heard the familiar voice: "You've Got Mail" Clicking the icon, he saw it. It was from her. Shygrl2U. Taking a deep breath, he opened the file and read the message therein.

~~<>~~<>~~<>~~<>~~<>~~

She sent the message and waited. She had no idea why she let herself become involved with this... person anyway.

She paused a moment before bringing her Online Locater List up to run a check. Sure enough, there he was. Clicking on his screen-name, she saw that he was not yet in a chat area. *Wonder what he is up to..?* she thought. Going back into her mail, she checked the status of the last post she sent. He had already read it.

Her palms began to sweat and she rubbed them absently on her sweat pants and took a deep breath. Here we go....

Typing quickly before she lost her nerve, ShyGrl2U joined HOT4U in the chat room.

****

He smiled as he chatted with her in their private room. He had never felt such elation, and something akin to pleasure, as he did when he was *talking* to Shygrl2U. Something about her intrigued him. He watched the screen for her next message...

Shygrl2U: And just why can't we meet sometime?? Just what is so special about your... job??

He waited while his entire life played in fast-forward right before his very eyes. Could he...? Possibly if he...? Then again, maybe he could...? The questions scattered across his brain like dried leaves in the grip of a hurricane. Finally, he decided he would just be straightforward. What could it hurt?

HOT4U: My job is my life. But... I would like to meet you too. Sometime.

Shygrl2U: Okay... I'm game. Time and place buddy. Time and place. LOL

He smiled to himself and looked around the confines of Section, the dark and sterile stetting where he practically lived... day in... day out. Maybe, just maybe, there could be a way. Turning back to the keyboard, he typed in his next message:

HOT4U: Oh yeah? You think so? Well then... here is the plan...

~~<>~~<>~~<>~~<>~~<>~~

Tina watched the messages come across her screen from HOT4U and her pulses started to race. What in the name of heavens was she possibly THINKING??? She had to be insane to even be considering this possibility!! Then again... she was intrigued. HOT4U sounded like a really interesting man and the persona that came across during their chats belied his screen name. He seemed to be very intelligent, thoughtful, even playful and flirty. She heard the tone indicating the incoming message from HOT4U so she turned to read the latest message from him.

HOT4U: So then. It's a date?

Tina thought for a moment before typing in her reply. Hesitating slightly before sending the message, she closed her eyes and clicked the SEND icon. Her message appeared simultaneously on both their screens:

ShyGrl2U: You bet. I'll be there.

Saying their goodnights to one another, they each looked forward to the following night.

~~<>~~<>~~<>~~<>~~<>~~

He was smiling as he shut the computer down. Turning the system off, he moved back from the unit and turned to rise out of his chair. When he saw her standing there, arms crossed, watching him, he froze where he was.

"Well. This is interesting. Just how long has this been going on?" Madeline asked.

He smiled, almost bashfully. He had never had this feeling before. He felt... happy. Deciding to ignore Madeline for the moment, and suffer the repercussions later, he gave her a mock bow at the waist and moved past her, walking back down the corridor to his quarters.

He was looking forward to tonight. He would finally come face-to-face with ShyGrl2U. They were to meet at a local restaurant... and he felt quite comfortable with the plan and the surroundings. He had been *under* for so long that he felt quite certain that this one evening out would be of little concern to Section.

He gained the safety of his rooms, and prepared for the day.

~~<>~~<>~~<>~~<>~~<>~~

Tina was beginning to have serious doubts about her *meeting* tonight with HOT4U. Facing the thought in the bright light of day was entirely different than thinking about it during the stillness of the night. She moved throughout her day as if on auto-pilot. Running errands, doing a little shopping, taking the car for an oil change. All of the tasks were performed brainlessly.

As the hour drew nearer, she became a nervous wreck!! Taking a long hard look at herself in her mirror, she called herself ready and plucked up the Wildcats ball cap she would use to identify herself to HOT4U.

Swinging it casually from her fingertip, she left her apartment and headed downtown.

~~<>~~<>~~<>~~<>~~<>~~

HOT4U was becoming nervous in the semi-crowded restaurant. He looked at his watch for what must be the hundreth time. 6:45pm. With a deep sigh, he knew that he was early and that she would be here at 7:00p. That is... IF she came.

Turning back to the entrance to keep watch, he noticed a young woman enter the lobby and glance nervously around. She was petite with short auburn hair. She was dressed comfortably in jeans and a large oversized sweater that only accented her slight build.

He was just about to turn back to his drink when he saw something dangling from her fingertip. Turning back to look closely at the object, his breath caught in his throat when he saw the white ballcap. She turned at that same moment and he could see the blue letters spell out WILDCATS and he lifted his eyes to her face.

She had seen him at that moment as well.

He rose from his chair and crossed the restaurant to her. She did not move at all. As he got closer and closer, she lifted her eyes higher to maintain contact with his.

When he stopped in front of her and held out his hand, she met him halfway with a shy smile playing at the corners of her mouth. Rather than shaking her hand as she had expected, he lifted it to his lips and placed a lingering kiss on her palm. Lifting his eyes back to hers, he turned and led her to his table. Pulling her chair out and seating her carefully, he moved around to the other side and resumed his position. Finally, he spoke.

"It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Shy girl. My name is Paul. Paul Wolfe."

"Nice to meet you, Paul. I'm Tina. And I'm not as shy as you might think."

The two lingered over their dinner well into the evening....

THE END!!!(OMG!! LOLOLOL!!! Had ya GOING there didn't I?? LOL!!)


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This story Copyright 1999, Aly
Used by permission